


It Feels Like Forever

by vitaldose



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Detox
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-16
Updated: 2015-03-16
Packaged: 2018-03-18 05:43:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3558263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vitaldose/pseuds/vitaldose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky attempts to navigate the DC streets while detoxing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Feels Like Forever

**Author's Note:**

> May continue this one, but I'm terrible at keeping my promises

The winter had never been a problem for him, for at least as long as his memory would allow him to go. He had glimpses of New York city in the Winter, dredging through un-shoveled sidewalks next to a skinny boy with a black eye. He knew now that this was Steven Rogers, Captain Steven Rogers, Captain America. Someone he'd known his whole life, his _best friend_ … the man he'd tried to kill, the man he saved from the water.

He also knew that his name was James Buchanan Barnes, Bucky. And he was presumed dead after falling from a train in the fight against Hydra.

_Hydra._

He knew he should have left the area, yet he remained in Washington DC. The first few weeks were fine, moving amongst the population, visiting the Smithsonian, learning as much about the man he was as he could. After about a month however, he was finding it hard to concentrate, he felt… wrong.

Things suppressed by whatever it was Peirce, and the men before him, had been pumping in to him for years came to him in flashes.

Memories, or were they hallucinations? He saw friends or enemies, both? These came and went, all of them strange and familiar.

The pain in his head felt like a monster trying to claw out of his eye sockets and his lungs felt consistently too small for the breaths he was taking. The nightmares interrupted what sleep he could get, under what bridges and alleys he could find. At least he _hoped_ they were nightmares. There were days he wasn't sure exactly if he was awake or asleep; he seemed to exist in constant flux between the two.

He felt scared for the first time in years. It would have been a welcome emotion any other time.

The hardest to control were the tremors. His body shook like an earthquake, no matter how cold or hot he was. The shaking and the terrors kept others from bothering him, most knew what he was going through and tried to offer him water or food, but he always declined.

He pressed his hands in to his eyes and groaned, the world was spinning around him and try as he might he couldn't concentrate. Looking around he was unsure as to where he was, everything was unfamiliar, everything was terrifying. He was shaking again and the bit of food he'd managed to scavenge came up without warning.

He felt his knee's buckle beneath him, his mind emptying as he crashed in to the concrete.

Hours later he awoke to a bright light shining directly above him. His first thought was that he was back at Hydra, he didn't move, he didn't dare move. He heard a voice, but it was like listening whilst underwater. He swallowed a few times as the voice became more clear.

“You all right there son?”

_Son?_ He tried to focus, tried to remember something, anything, but his mind was still clouded.

“Come on, let's get up.”

He felt a hand on his shoulder and tried to fight it, but it was if his whole body had shut down. He was finally able to focus and found himself face to face with a police officer who looked both terribly annoyed and preoccupied.

“Hey there we are, hey how you feelin' buddy? I'm Officer Johnson, this is my partner Officer O'Reily, we got a call saying you'd been here a while.”

“I've-” he tried to move but nothing was helping “I don't know-”

“It's okay man, take your time” the concern in officer Johnsons voice was fabricated. He took in to account her age and build, if it was necessary to fight he needed to know how much work it would take to take her down. He turned his head a little to look at Officer O'Reily, she was young and from what he could tell, genuine; he focused on her as he spoke.

“I'm not feeling well” he coughed, trying to sit up on his arms and looking as dazed as he felt.

“Well obviously” Officer Johnson chuckled “have you been drinking today?”

“No” he kept his eyes locked on Officer O'Reily. She was about 5'6”, red hair and freckles, thin like Steve- like Steve was.

“Okay buddy, how about the last time you used?”

“Used?”

“When was the last time you used drugs.”

“I don't-” he furrowed his brow “I don't use drugs.”

“Sure, can you stand?” Officer Johnson offered him a strong hand and motioned for him to take it. If he'd been in a better place, it'd be a perfect opertunity to take her down. Instead he took it as Officer O'Reily came to his other side to help push him to his feet. “You don't look that heavy” Officer Johnson remarked as she pulled him up “but damn are you like a ton of bricks, you steady?”

“No” he leaned slightly on Officer O'Reily, who was more than capable of holding him there.

“Look buddy I don't think we should leave you out here, is there anywhere you can go for the night?” She was going through procedure but anyone with half a brain could tell she was disenchanted with the whole thing. She'd been a cop too long, this was probably the thousandth man she'd picked up off the street. He was almost thankful for the disconnect.

“No, there's nobody I don't, I don't have anyone” he looked down at the ground, avoiding the eyes of both officers; he felt the shaking start again and held his stomach.

“Okay” Officer Johnson sighed “I can't leave you out here okay? What if we take you down to the station so you can sleep off whatever you've got in your system.”

“Going to take longer than a night” he remarked darkly.

Officer O'Reily looked up at her partner “We could take him to the clinic, it's a slow night Jen.”

“You always a sucker for a pretty face.”

“Let's just get him in the squad car okay? Whats your name?” Officer O'Reily moved him over toward the vehicle.

“James” a name, a real name. He wasn't created for- _created_. The flashing lights hurt his eyes and he closed them softly as they walked

“Okay James, were gonna take you to a place that can help you” she dipped his head in to the back of the car “watch your head.”


End file.
